Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
