Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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