***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
