Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
