I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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