I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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