how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
