Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
