Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
