All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
