All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
