You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
