like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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