Kiss
Puke
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
That's how pantless uber rides happen
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
