evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
