I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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