he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
