My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
