oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
