ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
