JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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