His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
