You're completely useless in the revolution.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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