In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You had me at "let me see your balls"
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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