two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
