I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
True strength comes from lack of pants
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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