as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
