Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You can't just leave with hair like that
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
