He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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