My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
