i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
