Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
