ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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