dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
