i'm signing you up for texting rehab
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
