i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
