The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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