you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
