He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
