dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
