in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
