Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
