so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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