Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
