I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
