Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
