I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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