I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
