Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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