WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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